Weird Al - The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota

Originally in Eb, I play in D

Intro

D

Vox on the 3

Well, I Dhad two weeks of vacation time coming

After Gworking all year down at Big Roy’s Heating and DPlumbing

So oAmne night when my family and I were gathered ‘round the dinner table

I said, “DKids, if you could go aD9nywhere in this great big world now

GWhere’d you like to go ta?“

D

So the vDery next day we loaded up the car

With Gpotato skins and pickled wieners

DCrossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics

And Amama’s home made rhubarb pie

Vox on the 3 on “pulled”, 5 on “drive”, down to the 1 of the chord (4 of the key) on “neighbors”

DPulled out of the D7driveway and the Gneighbors

They all waGmved good-Dbye and so began our three day jAourney

DWe picked up a D7guy holding a Gsign that said, “Twine Gball or bust“

He sDmelled real bad and he sAaid his name was DBernie

Vox down to the 3 of the chord

CI put in a Slim Whitman tape, my Dwife put on a brand new hair net

CKids were in the back seat jumping Dup and down, yelling “are we there yet?”

And aGll of us were Emjoined together Din one common Bmthought

As we Arolled down the long and winding interstate in our ‘53 DeSDoto

D

Oh, we couldn’t wDait to get there

So we Gdrove straight through for three whole days and Dnights

Of course, we stopped for more pickled Awieners now and then

The sDcenery was just so pretty, Gboy I wish the kids could’ve seen it

But you cDan’t see out of the side of the car

Because the wAindows are completely covered

With the Ddecals from all the places where Awe’ve already Dbeen

Like GElvis-O-Rama, the DTupperware Museum

The ABoll Weevil Monument and DCranberry World

The SGhuffleboard Hall Of Fame, DPoodle Dog Rock

And the EMecca of Albino SAquirrels

We’ve been to Gghost towns, theme parks, Dwax museums

And the Aplace where you can drive through the mDiddle of a tree

We’ve seen Galligator farms and taraDntula ranches

But there’s sEtill one thing we gotta sAee

Well, we cDrossed the state line about 6:39

And we Gsaw the sign that said, “Twine Ball exit, fDifty miles“

Oh, the kDids were so happy they started singing

“99 BotGtles Of Beer On The Wall“ for the twenty-seventh Dtime that day

Vox on the 5

So, we pDulled off the road at the last chance gas station

GGot a few more pickled wieners and a diet chocolate sDoda

D

DFinally, at 7:37 early WGednesday evening

As the sun was setting in the MDinnesota sky C→ G

DOut in the distance, on the horizon

It apGpeared to me like a vision before my uDnbelieving eyes

vox on the 5

I pDarked the car and walked with awe-filled Creverence

To-wGard that glorious, hDuge majestic sphere D

vox back to the 3

I was jDust so overwhelmed by its sheer immCensity G

I had to Dpop myself a beer D

Yes, oGn these hallowed grounds, open tCen to eight on Gweekdays

In a lDittle shrine, under a makeshift pagoda

D

DOh, what on CEarth would make a mGan decide to dDo that kind of thing? CG

DOh, windin’ up tCwenty-one thousand, oGne hundred forty pounds of sDtring CG

Let ring

DWhat was he trying to prove? CWGho was he trying Dto impress? CG

DWhy did he build it? How did he do it? CIt’s anybody’s Gguess

DWhere did he get the twine? What was Cgoin’ through his mGind?

Did it Cjust seem like a Ggood idea at the tAime?

Well, we wDalked up beside it and I warned the kids

“Now, you Gbetter not touch it, those ropes are there for a reDason“

I said, “MDaybe if you’re good, I’ll tie it to the back of our cGar

And we can take it home“, but I was only tDeasin’

Then we wDent to the gift shop and stood in line

Bought a Csouvenir miniature Gball of twine

Some wDindow decals and anything else they’d Gsell us

And I bDought a couple postcards

“Greetings from the twine ball, A7wish you were here“

Won’t the folks back home be jDealous?

I gave our Gcamera to Bernie and we Dstood by the ball

And we aAll gathered ‘round and said “chDeese“

Then BGernie ran away with my Dbrand new Instamatic

But at Eleast we got our memoriAes

DSo we all just stared at the ball for a while

And my Geyes got moist but I said with a smile

“Kids Dthis here’s what America’s all Aabout“

Then I sDtarted feelin’ kinda gooey inside

And I feGll on my knees and I cried and cried

And thatD‘s when those seAcurity guards threw us oDut

You know, I Gbet if we unraveled that sucker

It’d Croll all the way down to GFargo, North DakDota

D

Let ring

Well, we sDtayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn

In the Gmorning we were on our way home again

But we really didn’Dt want to leave, that was perfectly Aclear

I said, “DFolks, I can tell you’re all sad to go“

Then I wiGnked my eye and I sGmaid

“You know, I got a Dfunny kind of feelin’

We’ll be Acomin’ back again next Dyear“

‘Cause I’ve Gbeen all around this great big world

And I Ccan’t think of anywhere eGlse I’d rather gDo ta